10 Questions I Wish the Media Asked Trump

1. Who is your primary boss? Putin? Xi Jinping? Orbán? Musk? Bezos? Thiel? Who am I missing?
2. Have you stocked up on paper towels? Hurricanes are coming in hot and fast, and we’ll need you to toss the drowning a couple of rolls.
3. A new bird flu is adapting, recently jumping from chickens to pigs. Should we inject ourselves with bleach or Ivermectin now or later?
4. When the mass deportations begin and we hide our house keepers and gardeners in our homes, will the police storm the front door or the back?
5. Since women will be imprisoned for abortions and miscarriages, what private prison stock do you recommend?
6. Additionally, after you dismantle the department of education, won’t it be cheaper to turn schools into jails so the preschool to prison pipeline in perfectly streamlined?
7. On campus today, a young man shouted, “Your body, my choice” at my daughter. Are they effectively married now?
8. On a different campus, a young white man shouted at a Black student, “The cotton fields need picking.” Do you think we should ban the cotton gin so Black people can get those Black jobs?
9. When you stop sending social security checks, will you provide retirees who paid into social security with a tent and maybe a sleeping bag for when they lose their homes.
10. When you revoke the $35 insulin cap so pharmaceutical companies can again charge $800 per month to diabetics, will you provide a small tax credit to help pay for funerals?